Setting Free

To let go of fears, one must let go of playing by others rules

My mom, with dad not around us, was filled with fear. With no other avenues to express them, I was used a scapegoat. I was hit and scolded a lot as a child and I do not blame her. If anything, I find them warranted,now that I understand the trauma she would have been through.  But that was when I really understood how dangerous fear can be to us and the people around us.
In my new school, when I did good in studies and won championships, I was immediately perceived as a threat and again, people around me looked for ways to put me down. That was when I realized fear could also kick in the evil in us.
I joined college with the hopes, that the people I would meet would be genuine. But unfortunately, once again, I met girls, who were looking for opportunities to demean me, who tried to isolate me. I sensed it was fear and insecurity.
The boys in my college, stopped me from donating blood, saying they don't accept HIV+ , they wrote on walls in the colleges about a non- existent sex video of mine and so much more. It was again the fear that there was a girl unaffected by everything they could do.

All these people, what they really feared was not me or anyone or anything else. They feared themselves. They were insecure about themselves.They chose to inflict pain on other to ease their fear. They looked for ways to make me break down, to deceive themselves into feeling secure.

This fear and insecurity is what led, men ages ago to come up  God's, myths, rules, etc. They feared nature, they started worshiping it since they hadn't found a way to control it then. They were afraid of women, and they found ways to control us. All the rules and regulations the society imposes on women, or anyone who is different and a winner, is because of their own mediocrity. Only if we women understand that the rules that define how we should act,  is nothing but a measure to keep us under their control, can we start defying those rules and only when no one gives a sh*t about such rules, will they cease to exist.