Anti-Branding

Blue and still it is,
Shallow it is,
From where you stand,
You scorn and walk off,
Giving dirty look to the one inside,
The one that thinks,
She is swimming in an ocean.
Illusion it is they say,
That makes it shallow to you,
Fear I say it is,I say,
For you evade the responsibility of finding,
Malice I say it is, I say,
For the one inside did what you wouldn’t;
Respect it is I say,
That is yet to be to realized,
For the lack of wisdom.
What seems deep is not,
What seems arrogant is not,
What seems rugged is not,
What seems beautiful is not,
For it is deep, shallow, ugly,sweet, arrogant, beautiful and rugged.
So is nature,
With forces and features in multitudes.
For words are insufficient,
And yet to be born,
To fully define each thing on Earth.
World of infinite possibilities it is,
Limited only by words,
For it is sacrilege,
To confine anything,
To mask the ignorance of yours.

Freedom Of Expression

“What seems deep is not,

What seems arrogant is not,

What seems rugged is not,

What seems beautiful is not,

For it is deep, shallow, beautiful,ugly,sweet,arrogant and rugged.”

Bombs have been used to kill other nations; strategies have been deployed to destroy other nations. Now , there is a certain tool which is in play, that is consciously or unconsciously, but actively curtailing the growth of our own nation, and our society; a tool that many use to escape their ignorance, which is only an empty attempt, since it is not something to be escaped from, but something to be conquered; A tool, that is, branding; and being a woman, and being different, I would dare to say, branding of and against women and those who are different, for I have been branded and branded throughout my life, and so have been most of the women in the country, and not just by men. Enough has been talked against this evil, but apparently not enough. So I think it is time to stop talking and start showing that we are not shallow, neither are we boring. Just like anyone else and everything else, women are also so dynamic that one or even few words can’t describe us fully.

I’m a slut, I’m a house wife, I’m a genius, I’m stupid, I’m so damn beautiful, and I’m also ugly, I’m a bitch, I’m sweet, I’m everything bad you can imagine, I’m everything good you hope to be, and I choose to be whatever I want , whenever I want. And so do the other women, you have labelled.
And we women, the dynamic forces of nature, we have talked about this, we have tried to explain the world, the truth of Life, but have been left unheard. Let us now show the world in action. Let us be whatever we want. Let us break from the confines of the everyday Life, let us fight against labeling and branding of any kind.

Dressing has been labelled and people who dress up have been labelled. But to me, there is no louder form of expression, than expressing through our clothes, for it talks and conveys and not for long can the world close its eyes’ to this.

Artists, we will be, projecting our inner-self, which takes many different forms. Activists, we will be, breaking down the cliches. Smart, we will be, to use a label against itself. Radicals, we will be to destroy the “attributes” the society imposes on us.Revolutionaries, we will be, to try things that are new. Strong, we will be , to step out of our “comfort” zones. Content, we will be, to freely be all that we could and are. A “lady”, each of us will be, but on our own damn terms, and shout out to the world, without sound, that woman and lady are not two words but one.

About Us:

And that, my dear ladies, is the vision of CYCADO.To enable women to be whatever they want and whenever they want.Take different avatars, without worrying about the costumes, for we have got that covered. Checkout our Facebook page for more information.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dream-Closet-UnLease-The-Diva-In-U/1688724741353553?ref=bookmarks

A society against women 3

When I joined college, for some reason I attracted a lot of unwanted attention that I did not care for.  My disinterest in them had apparently instilled a rage in people to force them to try and bring me down.  Many tried many things to see me break down. As lame and silly as it sounds,  people did put in lot of efforts to do just that. 

Our class was over and we had a short break.  I walked out of my class to drink water from the cooler which is located towards the end of the floor.  As I walked closer,  I found many girls and guys crowded there looking at the wall.  They where facing me,  and they all gave me weird looks.  I got curious and went to look at the wall.
On it, was written in big bold letters " sex video of metallurgy Sahyujyah on www.Sahyujyahsex.com.  Watch and enjoy".  A guy from my class was standing just infront of me and reading it.  He, in a frantic attempt to save the name of his department erased the word metallurgy,  turned looked at me and walked off. I just got myself a glass of water and went back to my next class.

The same day I got a random call,  with someone trying to blackmail me that they apparently have got a sex video of mine which they would upload on YouTube. I said "ok all the best.  Please send me the link after you do"  and cut the call.

It wasn't  just the guys that are so against women.  The girls for their part have told stories about how,  I have kissed many guys and have hung all those photos laminated in my room like  trophies!  And there are people who believed even this!

I was recently talking to one of my friends and he thought the world so beautiful and perfect and all men and women are fair.  I obviously did not agree and he asked me to justify my stand.  Then I realised there are so many who are oblivious to the atrocities that are happening around.  Only when people  realise that there are such gross things in the world,  can we fight them. 

This is my effort to show the world some of the pathetic things that are prevalent .  I don't disagree that the world is beautiful.  But there are people who try to make it ugly for others.  My college principal to whom I went to help for,  to control the boys,  said girls have to adjust. 

As a person who have gone through all that shit,  the least I could do is to tell the world my story, so no principal again would be so "ball-less" ever again to ask the girl to adjust.

On Being Responsible

As a responsible human, "responsible citizen" is senseless to me.

Everytime we are asked to define our responsibilies we immediately list down all the relationships we have in life. Our responsibility as a daughter/son,  our responsibility as a friend,  our responsibility to the society,  etc and these are considered great since they sound all selfless.  And they are selfless. And that's precisely why I'm against them.

As human beings,  with six senses,  one's only responsibility in life,  is to act truthful to one's own beliefs and  convictions that one has defined rationally to oneself.  Without self,  without perceiving the self there is no society there are no relationships. If selflessness is a virtue then Life has no meaning.

You can define your life as a function of your dreams,  desires and actions or define it as a function others' dreams for you and actions others'define for you.

But whatever variables are in the equation,  consequences are going to be yours and only yours. 

You could always give up your dreams,  because your parents and you had conflict of interests.  Maybe you can justify it saying you acted as a responsible daughter/son.
But at the end of the day, when you look back you are going to see the path you traversed irrespective of whom the driver was. And when you do look back, you could either feel content or contempt.  Success or failure the road we took ourselves always imparts contentment. Because destination is not what matters,  it's the journey and there is no way to enjoy a journey as a pillion rider,  on your own vehicle.

The Virtue Of Desire

To want and not need
To be wanted and not needed.

In a discussion group,  we were posed a question to list out the needs in our life.

People came up with so many things like air,  food,  love,  happiness,  etc.

But I believe there is no such thing as "need".  It's about how we train our mind to perceive things. We have the power to define to ourselves what we need and don't.

I have always seen "need"  as a negative thing.  When I see professing their love ad something they "need"  in their life I stop respecting the person. Need doesn't instill love.

I have always found need as something that keeps us satisfied with mediocrity.  We also get so emotionally and psycologically attached with what we define as our needs and forget the meaning of Life, if at all we don't get it,  or lose it.

NASA has confirmed a theory and technique where, with practice and discipline we could trap sun's energy incrementally and live  without food.  So there goes, one of the basic necessities of life! I'm sure we humans have enough capacity to find alternatives to everything we have defined as "needs".  It's only a matter of time.

When I think of a life lived fully,  I can only imagine one where, there were no needs but numerous wants.

On contrary to the general belief,  I believe lust,  wants,  desires are all virtues.  Since these are the modes of our appreciation for something wonderful,  something beautiful. 

Because we "want" things for what they are,  we understand their value,  we want it for the sake of love and lust rather than to just satisfy our "thirst"  and this lust and passion will what drive us towards excellence.

The End of Ownership

Philosophy preaches us to detach ourselves from the worldly attachments, for a peaceful life. Philosophers lament about how technology, westernization etc., are steering us away from their described path to happiness.  But what none have realized is, technology in fact is getting us disconnected from the feeling of “mine” and is propagating sharing.  Science and practicality have been construed to be parallel to philosophy. But maybe, after all they meet at a point and science and its enablers are going to make it a reality.

We can already see it becoming a reality in most spheres of life and there are many companies, start-ups that are enabling it. Not only from a philosophical sense does it make sense, but also from the financial and practical stand points.

The finance guys will tell you, the trick to make more money is to convert the fixed costs to variable costs. Hence the idea of bonus based on efficiency rather than a specified amount added to the salary. Companies have practiced such tweaks and tricks since the inception of industrialization. Now, with innovation at its peak, and efficiency facing the highest demand, the ability for the common people to be doing the same becomes very crucial too. Assets, however proud they may make us, at the end of the day, we still remain shallow, both at hearts and our pockets. Let’s face it, the cost of maintenance is far greater than the cost of acquisition, which is true in so many ways. So why have assets at all? When “pay for what you use concept” was introduced with the mobile networks, it became a hit, because subconsciously people understand the irrationality in acquiring something, that we don’t derive complete use out of. If such an option could be available in every sphere of our life, then we would have no fixed cost, which means highest ROI’s.

And towards that is exactly our world is moving. I recently read an article where, in a few years all you could find are entrepreneurs who run companies who would outsource required operations to other companies, who  would use freelancers to get it done, all getting paid for the work they do, making the concept of monthly salaries go extinct.  There are companies, that lets you use furniture, cars, houses, and what not on the same pay per use basis. If you want to advertise with google, you only need to pay for the clicks you get, which is highly efficient.

Eliyahu Goldratt, the inventor of the principle of Theory of Constraints, in his book, “Isn’t it obvious”, explains how assets can be bottle neck and how to alleviate the trouble by limiting the assets we have, to what we really and absolutely need. The same has been stressed and re-stressed by every management principle you can think of.  I have always found these management principles fascinating because these are not just true for running efficient companies, but also for efficient living. But we have never had the resources necessary to realize these principles and apply it in our everyday life, until very recently.

Another angle to look at ownership is the constraints and restriction it imposes on us.  The choices we make to own certain goods, become permanent although our attachments to those are not and at the end we are just stuck with it. The decisions we make are restricted by the resources at hand at that point of time, and hence gets curbed our freedom to experiment.

 If you could imagine a world, where you could choose to be anywhere , have and use anything, experiment, be flexible, morph into any personality you want to project, let your mood influence what you wear ,eat, live etc., be your dynamic self , break free from the shackles of the society, wander freely, then you smell freedom, then you see the immense possibilities that this world has to offer, then you feel the wall around you crumbling into pieces, then you feel the fresh air blowing against your face, and that world, that feeling, is not far from your reach.  The visionaries around you, the entrepreneurs, the scientists are striving to make “A free world” a complete reality and  all that we have to do is embrace it, be open to new ideas, so you can discover the beauty of the world outside.

About Us:

The vision of CYCADO, our company, is to create such a free world, where there are only possibilities and no restrains. Our first step towards it is in the sphere of clothing.

Why own clothes? Why restrict yourself to the closet at your home? Why not just pay for what you use?  After all clothes, trends, our attachment we have for them our short lived. Then why make a permanent purchase decision on it? Why have assets that create fewer returns?

Hence our idea, get clothes from us; use them; pay only for what you use. If you have got clothes in your closet not put into use, we will put them into use and you can earn on that.

The resources are scarce and depleting, efficient use of all that we already have is the only way to save the World. Let’s get efficient together! Let us save the world!

The Power of Past

I've seen in movies,  I've seen among my friends.  Most people believe they've had a difficult childhood.  Some keep it a secret,  so no one would use it to hurt them.  Some share it with the intent to earn sympathy and some just share it because they don't see the point in trying hard to maintain it a secret. And I've always wondered why our own past should be our enemy.

Trauma or not,  our past has what made us what we are now.  No one comes out weaker after walking through a difficult time in life.  Any terrible thing that has happened to us, is in fact, our strength, and we cannot let anyone else think they can use it as a weapon against us.  Nor it should be something that will earn us sympathy.  When we have fought and won something,  that should only earn us respect,  though that should just be an unconscious by-product.

Our fights and victories,  they have already served their purpose,  they have made us better.  Now, they do not have the power to hurt us,  neither can they earn us the sympathy of others.

Only when we stop giving power to past will we start living in the present.

A Reason To Smile

Diwali is just days away and I'm reminded of this, story that I have to share with all.
It was six years back,  around the same time and diwali was getting closer.  My dad and I were standing near the Periyar bus stand in Madurai.  Close by there was a lady and her (about) five year old son.
People walked around with bags of crackers and new clothes in their hand.  The boy kept looking at them and started pestering his mother to buy him a new dress.  She couldn't afford one and she brushed him off.
The boy,  yearning to have a reason to smile that diwali,  but with no means, teared up.
My dad,  who was watching this,  went to a small clothes shop opposite,  pointed the boy to the owner and paid for the dress and asked him to give it to boy. 
The boy was elated to suddenly  have a stranger give him a new dress. The mom felt happy,  to see her son smile.
My dad almost teared up at the sight and the shop owner expressed how happy this made him feel and not because of the sale he had just made.
The joy that I felt, just looking at this scene,  is immense and I could still feel it as I'm typing. 
Though I don't believe in charity,  donating our old clothes,  instead of just throwing them out, makes more sense, and is only humane!
Let us all begin the celebrations by putting smile on the face of atleast one other person.

An Ode To Fashion

People say fashion is shallow. And some tell they are not interested in their looks at all.  I dont know what such people are trying to prove.  That he/she are a saint? That somehow it makes her very smart?!
Internal beauty and external beauty both are equally important since both are "you" . Sure more credits are given to looks.  While that is not correct, it is very short lived too.  At the end what you are inside comes into play too.  We all want both to matter,equally, from the start. Yeah sure.  But saying I'm only concerned about my internal beauty is false. Inherently everyone wants to look good.  The degree to which they feel this is different,  the efforts they put on it may vary.  But no one,  wants to look bad. 

Intellect,  looks both are a part of you.  And to say I don't need one thing or the other doesn't really make sense to me.

Fashion needn't be associated with just runway models. Fashion gives you so much freedom.  You can express yourself freely,  whatever you are and that's fashion even if it doesn't match the "trend".  If you are at a shop and deciding which colour shirt to buy,  then that's a fashion decision you are making right there.  No one is really outside the circle of fashion.
It really frustrates to hear people say I'm don't believe in looks and more so when the person saying this is wearing a pink lipstick. Pink lipstick is just a symbol.  But each and everyone of us stand in front of mirror for at least five minutes,  take time to choose our clothes at the shop to buy. We are all like the girl wearing a pink lipstick.
Let's not be hypocrites.  Let's just accept the truth and move on instead of finding one more reason to brand and label people.

The Unconditional Love For Life

Life is such an irony.  If we think,  realise and understand the truth of it,  then we would live Life, but would never be able to enjoy it.  But if we stay oblivious to that, we would enjoy life without even living it.

We are all born not to just sustain, but to Live,  enjoy the materialistic objects that the world has to offer,  which is happiness to some.  Happiness is a function of various things to different people. But at the end, we start chasing them.  But that's a never ending pursue.  From where we stand, we see happiness far away and start running towards it. Everytime we get tired,  we lament happiness is not attainable to us. We cry that we are destined to remain sad and unsatisfied.
The other group, that rejects the idea of "living", they say they are going to find inner peace and denounce materialistic life.  They merely sustain until death spares them.  They  never have a reason to cry or be angry, since they have closed their eyes to the world around them.
We try so hard to live life to find happiness,  and the other group doesn't participate in what is called "Life" .

At the end either happiness is a never ending pursue or an illusion. And that's because we all think happiness as a destination to be reached and that the sole purpose of life is to find happiness.
But just like how we need different tastes in our food,  we need to be sad,  angry, hurt,  let down,  lonely,  happy,  successful, loved, and calm.  Its all this that makes Life.  Its all the tears we shed that make our smiles more valuable.  Happiness is not the potion.  It's an ingredient. 
We don't have to treat life like it's and any kind of race.  By running after something, we will only let life run past us.  What we miss is just not happiness, but Life itself. 
Let's treasure not, just those happy memories,  but also those that made us cry,  because then we would know we had lived life.  Instead of denouncing everything to find peace,  let's embrace them,  both good and bad, then there would be no reason to be disturbed.

Let's accept both the night and day and Let us love our lives unconditionally

Disclaimer

I was brainstorming with my friends for a promo video for my startup.  We were discussing many concepts and me being the fighter that Iam,  wanted to incorporate some issue also into the video.  They too liked it,  but they also gave a very valid point.  They said we could do a series of videos,  and one of those could talk about some issue,  so viewers do not label me as someone who will only talk about issues.  Ironically,  the issue I wanted to use in our concept was labelling.
 
I've had many message me,  after reading my blogs and most of them seem to think I'm lamenting about my woes or I'm only talking of issues women face.  And many also construe me to be a man hater. 

People while  reading my article against labelling, label me! 

So to avoid any further confusion I want to make certain things clear.

1. Feminism doesn't mean man hating
2. I definitely don't hate men.  Trust me on this!
3. I use my experiences to make people aware of the atrocities happening  and to tell women,  these shouldn't stop us.  So please do not think I'm just lamenting.  Not my intent.
4. Women issues are not the only topics I write about.  I've also written about objectivism,  freedom,  hypocritism, etc.
5. And yeah,  I should tell this,  the fellow women I'm referring to are not just school kids.  Don't please assume so, since I'm sharing my experiences during school.  I really wish I didn't have to say this.
6. When I say women have to fight,  I don't mean fighting against men or to kill them in their sleep.  Women just have to fight against anyone, men and other women alike, who stop them from doing what they want to do.  As simple as that.

Setting Free

To let go of fears, one must let go of playing by others rules

My mom, with dad not around us, was filled with fear. With no other avenues to express them, I was used a scapegoat. I was hit and scolded a lot as a child and I do not blame her. If anything, I find them warranted,now that I understand the trauma she would have been through.  But that was when I really understood how dangerous fear can be to us and the people around us.
In my new school, when I did good in studies and won championships, I was immediately perceived as a threat and again, people around me looked for ways to put me down. That was when I realized fear could also kick in the evil in us.
I joined college with the hopes, that the people I would meet would be genuine. But unfortunately, once again, I met girls, who were looking for opportunities to demean me, who tried to isolate me. I sensed it was fear and insecurity.
The boys in my college, stopped me from donating blood, saying they don't accept HIV+ , they wrote on walls in the colleges about a non- existent sex video of mine and so much more. It was again the fear that there was a girl unaffected by everything they could do.

All these people, what they really feared was not me or anyone or anything else. They feared themselves. They were insecure about themselves.They chose to inflict pain on other to ease their fear. They looked for ways to make me break down, to deceive themselves into feeling secure.

This fear and insecurity is what led, men ages ago to come up  God's, myths, rules, etc. They feared nature, they started worshiping it since they hadn't found a way to control it then. They were afraid of women, and they found ways to control us. All the rules and regulations the society imposes on women, or anyone who is different and a winner, is because of their own mediocrity. Only if we women understand that the rules that define how we should act,  is nothing but a measure to keep us under their control, can we start defying those rules and only when no one gives a sh*t about such rules, will they cease to exist.

A Random Rant

I don't make friend's easily.  I don't really know how to maintain relationships.  I move on quick.  I don't call the very few people I love or even attend their calls.  I have my moments of weakness.  I give up many things I take up.  I have an inferiority complex and I constantly worry that Iam not smart enough.  I fight with no matter who, for what I believe in.  I don't like to be told how to make my personal choices.  I make mistakes and I believe in making mistakes.  I worry I'm  wasting time but not often do I act on it.  I hate a lot of people.  I don't belive in unconditional love. My beliefs usually contradict with the "society's".
I'm criticised and condemned by almost everyone for all that I'm. People judge me and label me.  My loved ones advice me to change.  My mom  prays that God "blesses" me with "good thoughts".  Friends have walked out of my life.  It's been a very long time since I've heard anything good told about me.

But I don't want to change.  Because,  it doesn't matter if others don't like me for what I'm. I should like myself for all the faults I have,  because even with all these faults I have not failed in life and that's a proof enough that, I deserve to be liked, atleast by me.

Embracing The Chaos

We are taught manners- how to eat,  talk,  sit, stand, walk and breathe.  We are taught how to dress.  We are governed by rules that regulates even the basic activities of life.  And all this is imposed on us from our childhood,  never giving us opportunity to explore ourselves and what we are made of.  We are given the answers to questions we don't know.  And worse yet,  we are given answers that someone else wrote.  We are taught to behave and then labelled as decent and civilised citizens. 
But whatever the society could teach or impose on us is not gonna change what we are made of deep down. With ideologies that are imposed and nameless feelings at our mind and heart conflicting with each other,  we just tread along, always feeling unsettled and confused. We tread along the paths that's already defined for us since its easier than figuring out the path for us, which requires acting against the prescribed norms of the society.
We might give someone a suit, call him learned and honest,  but we can never change what he really is inside. So who are we cheating here?
Can we really predict someone by the outfit,  the walk and the talk when he is acting the way he was taught?  Aren't we  just staging shows and voluntarily getting cheated?
If it is true,  that we have to accept everyone for what they are,  if the word individuality even has a meaning,  then shouldn't we let people be themselves and then weigh them based on how they behave? which would also be honest and truthful since the face we are seeing is not a facade!
Each person is born different,  everyone thinks different, everyone feels different. Chaos is the mother of nature,  chaos is the mother of the Earth.  Chaos is the norm of life and Chaos, is what defines the basic human nature. So, it is the Chaos, that we have to embrace. And any attempt to bring uniformity is just a futile attempt at staging a magic show, in which the magician doesn't just cheat the crowd but also himself!

Awaiting The Dawn

The silence in the room resonates in my mind. 

I wake up to an emptiness and go to sleep to embrace the Life in it;

Deceiving myself to be with people who I wish to have around, creating a world filled with laughter, smiles, pains and shoulders to cry on; 

Acting God for a while and Queen in my head, in a Place where I exist even if it is only in my dreams. 

They say dreams are black and white, but I beg to differ.  I say Life is all but colourless;

Because the colors of life is not blue and red but smiles and tears and people to share them with. 

Insanity, is feeling lonely while surrounded by people during day,  and feeling loved when all alone in dreams. 

With the hopes,  the day will be better than my dream,  I wake up to a silence that resonates in my mind,  to an emptiness that puts me back to sleep. 

 A vicious circle it is, of Life and Dreams.  Hope one day I will realise my Dreams and wake up to a colourful scene. 

A path without hitches, never leads to greatness

Socrates, Plato, Aristotle;they are all great philosophers, great men and never forgotten.  

Socrates put individual's beliefs over society's. Plato who was Socrates's student had beliefs that where different from his master's. Aristotle had contradictory values and beliefs.  Each of them stood by their values and beliefs, against the society, against their teachers whom they respected immensely. 

All these men are greatly respected, for not just what they preached, but because they practiced the same, against all odds. 

Greatness doesn't come with following blindly the "ethics" the society imposes on you. And anyone who follows them,  just because it is imposed on them, will only follow it selectively and that can never be called a virtue. 

Philosophy is not a science to be learnt from books. Morals don't come without the realisation of one's own premises. We have to build our premises, beliefs, Morals and ethics that cater to our own realities. 

Great or not, depends not just on what your values and beliefs are! It depends on whether or not you have the guts to practice them,  without giving in and without bending them! 

Men have nothing to fear! We will never indulge in male infanticide!

Female infanticide is a crime?  But why give life to a girl,  if you are not gonna let her LIVE? 


1. My aunt adviced my nephew,  who is 5 years old and afraid of dark,  that BOYS shouldn't be afraid of anything.
2. When a five year old girl,a smart Lil girl,  in my brother's apartment comes home to play with my nephew,  and dictates the rules of the games, my family comments on her "bossy attitude"
3. I've had students in my college get surprised when they found I was good in academics,  because according to them,  good looking girls are dumb.
4. When I refused invitations to be friends with some guys in my college,  because I had standards,  they started abusing me over phone,  sent obscene  messages, wrote stories  about my body parts and sexual endeavours on the campus walls.
5. Our college principal advised me to adjust with such guys because they are dangerous since they drink and do drugs.  And ironically our college hostel has 6:30pm curfew for girls and free night on Saturdays,  for boys.
6. One of my friends was hit on by some guy,  and her well wishers adviced her to tell she was already in a relationship and not she wasn't interested because apparently,  girls can't have a choice.
7. In a business ethics session,  at the company I worked for,  the speaker,  an ex air force official,  explained how women have to completely cover themselves up so men won't get distracted.
8. When we were getting ready to go out,  I asked my brother to pass my shoes, since he was standing close to the cupboard,  to which my family reacted like I had sinned.
9. Everyone's reaction on hearing I quit my job to become an entrepreneur is,  "how will any guy want to marry you now? "
10. My mom saves as much as she can because the expenses of the wedding should be bourne by the girl's family.
11. My mother's plan for my future: work in tata steel,  Jamshedpur,  until I'm married and quit my job to go to whichever city the guy is in, no matter what my ambitions are.  She is a professor and holds a PhD.
12. So many of my school and college friends I connected with,  on Facebook asked, if my next step in life was to get married.  Why can't the first question to a girl be what are you gonna study next or,  what is your dream job?!
13. As I'm typing,  I can hear my sister in law advising her son,  he shouldn't gossip because only women do that!
14. Every girl's family I know,  wants their daughters to learn to do household work, so they can be a good wife and a good daughter in law.
15. My friend's mom wanted a daughter in law because she was tired of doing all the household work.

I understand men are insecured,  that we might grow and take over them. But why would women be so mean to their own kind?! 

To Each, To own!

At every step of our life we keep looking for answers.  We have this inexplicable need to know it all.  And that's the greatest irony of life.  We know it's impossible to know the future, still we strive to define a future for ourselves.  Every small decision we need to take,  we think about the future and how this might affect us later.
 A person who does this,  is praised and a person who lives in the moment,  on the edge,  is trashed by the society.  But who are the ones that are actually living life like it should be.  Or is "should be" itself  non existent?
Every where we are advised to live life fearlessly,  to do what heart wants,  to take risks.
Shouldn't those who actually have the guts to practice what's generally preached be looked upto? Y doesn't it happen?
 Our fears and insecurities and egos are projected out as hatred for those who are different from us.  And it is the same fear and insecurity that makes us look for answers every step of the way.
I used to suffer from inferiority complex. Maybe I still do.  But thinking about it,  maybe everyone is travelling in the same boat. everyone is just as insecured about themselves as I am. Only, some of us have realised it and others didn't and they cheat themsleves just to avoid facing the truth.
I was reading a book by Eliyahu goldratt. In it, he talks how all the problems in a company are manifestations of one small problem and just solving that one problem,  would solve everything. Its so true in life too,  isn't it?
Every problem we think we have is conceived by us,  in our mind. And I think the inception of all problems is the need to satisfy or impress others. We fear what people might think of is.  We fear how we will look infront of others if we do something we like.  Why should others have such an important role in our life? Until recently I didn't want anyone to read my blog, because I thought I sucked at writing,  because I thought it was amateur.  But why should we be afraid about what others might think!
If we could just detach our emotions from influencing or being influenced by other's,  how peaceful our lives would be! 

A Society Against Women 2

I was in my eleventh and I was walking back from tuition.  It was around seven at night and I was wearing a Jean and tee.  A bike came so close to me and the old man riding it grabbed my back as he drove past. My "friends"  on hearing this advised me not to wear jeans and to stick with salwar.

I was returning from a shop at the end of our street. Two guys in a scooter,  whistled at me and kept riding back in rounds. A man,  who was walking beside,  who considered  himself to be the moral police of the street, asked who the guys were.  I said I didn't know and kept walking. When I reached home, he stopped, called my mom and complained to her that I attracted the guys and made them come back to me.

I was in ninth, and went to a shop in our street,  with my friend and her little brother.  I was wearing a sleeveless top.  A man,  well into his fifties,  who was walking by,  stopped on seeing me,  came inside the shop,  stood close to me for a while,  then bought a condom.  My friend commented that happened only because I was wearing a sleeveless top.

I was sitting with my friend in the school bus. I was at the window seat.   I smiled at something she said and simultaneously looked out the window and co-incidentally,  some guy,  a mechanic,  was standing on the road.  My friend's mother,  a teacher at our school saw this and thought I was smiling at the random mechanic guy.  After that, my friend was never allowed to sit with me. 

The Scary Truth

I was in my company orientation class. A senior manager in the company came to take the session and she was giving introduction about the company. She told what the company does is for the benefit of the society. For this my friend asked if the purpose of the company was to help the society or to make profits. She answered it was making profits but we can’t tell that outside and that we should only say we work for helping the society. Another guy asked “why would we say our goal is to make money?” This question says it all!

I was reminded of this incident I’ve read in Atlas Shrugged. Hank Rearden is a steel industry owner and he very openly states he’s in the business to make money. But his advisor tells him not to say such things in public and to project himself to be altruistic.

Everyone wants to please others. Everyone wants to give people what they want, tell people what they want to hear, even if it’s not their truth. Everyone cheat others and themselves to show them to be virtuous and that too based on what others consider a virtue. People find it so difficult to believe and accept the truth for what it is. They are more afraid to tell the truth. 

Looking at all this, maybe movies are much more realistic than the “real” world is.

(Note: When I say everyone I meant most of the people)

Tree and Pencil

                                                      “I’m not a perfect human, but I’m the perfect me!”

A new pencil is tall and sharp. As we use it, it gets blunt. We can sharpen it again but at the expense of its height, until we reach a point where it needs to be discarded for a new pencil.

The pencil doesn’t have the power to make a mark in the world; the power is with the one holding it.

That is the problem. We all, more often than not fall prey to one of the many traps of life and give power over ourselves to someone else and become a mere shadow of them, which they will eventually stamp on.

I wish I could always remain a tree and choose to give shadow to others than me becoming a shadow in the world. I wish I’ll never have to be made a pencil.

I had insulated myself to protect the nature and purpose of my life, until one day when I let my guard down only to start questioning life.

I realise now, how difficult it is to escape the fate of becoming a pencil, to wither away experiencing a slow painful death.

I think the only challenge in life is to protect our true selves from morphing into someone else.